Why would anyone have just one child?

I was all ready to blog this week about Noah's CARS obsession until I ran across an article by NY times Guest Blogger Nataly Kogan titled "What's Wrong With One Child?".Aaron and I talked about children prior to  our Engagement and Marriage, the consensus was three children, if our finances allowed but we definitely  wanted at least two. When it came down to it,  what we had discussed did not matter, it was God's will for us to have just one child ,our precious Noah. Due to a life threatening complication (Placenta Accreta) during my Labor and Delivery with Noah, I am unable to physically have another child. We were lucky to have a good team of Doctors, with out which  I would not be here to enjoy my Son.

July 2008

Now that you have the background and reasoning for my blog topic, you can imagine this is a subject matter that  I have spent a good bit of time pondering  and sometimes agonizing over for the past three years. The author of the NY Times Blog Post, writes about how she and her husband have thus far only chosen to  have "just" one child  and how some people are very judgmental of their decision. The author  herself being an only child, would know better than anyone else the impact of her decision. 

As I read the comments to the blog,I was appalled by some of the rude things readers were writing. Many people commented that her decision was selfish and that they owed it to their children to produce a sibling. 

You owe it to your children to be a good parent and provide the best life possible, not to "produce" a sibling.the older Noah gets the more likely we are to get the dreaded question from people that are not aware of our situation "So, when are you guys going to have another one?" This is a very awkward question when asked. It is no fault of the person inquiring, just a very awkward moment for all. There are times when explaining is very simple and others where I would rather not.

Aaron and I have discussed adoption and I have even researched surrogacy. At this point, our family of three seems just perfect for us. So, you see the name of my blog "Dlugos 3" was not presumptive just reality.

I'm constantly thinking of the pros and cons of having one child. The cons are my fears. They include, visions of Aaron and I as an Older couple sitting alone at  the dinner table at holidays if Noah can't make it home, leaving Noah alone with no sibling comfort, and the "spoiled brat" or "weird" label that many only children get stuck with. The worst is that I would ever lose my only child. When Noah was diagnosed with a tumor on the base of his brain, it was the worst feeling in the world. It would be for any parent, especially the parent of an only child. I also wonder what to say when Noah asked why he has no siblings or asks for one for his birthday. The  pro's comfort my fears. The Pro's include, being able to provide more for one child, being able to spend more time with Noah and not missing any events he may be in where some families with multiple children may have to divide their time between their children's events. 

All parents cherish special moments with their children such as first birthdays, first words, first steps etc...For Aaron and I these moments are especially precious since we already know we only have one set of firsts. Some of you may read my FB posts and wonder why I seem to constantly be talking about my child, well now you have a better ideas as to why.

Catching Noah's first Steps on Camera

Society in the past seemed to look down on parents who had only one child. Who would ever do such a thing? I have heard negative things said about one child families. I think one child families are becoming more accepting, mainly due to the economy. The bottom line is everyone has their reasoning for having just one child. It may be due to their own choice or through no choice of their own at all. Happiness is not measured by the number of times you give birth or by the number of children that you raise. Every time I see a huge smile on Noah's face I know that we were blessed with ONE fantastic child who brings so much joy to our lives and vice versa.

Do I have "bad" days when I wish to have more children-of course, I am human and no one loves babies more than I,  but the good days with out a doubt outweigh the bad. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that God makes no mistakes. We have one child for a reason...